Wednesday 30 January 2008

Jeremy Beadle 1948-2008

Comedian, entertainer, radio presenter, practical joker - Jeremy Beadle dies at the age of 59 having entertained millions in a decades-long career blighted by unwarranted criticism, and - in later years - severe illness.

Known either as the funniest man on TV to his fans, or a spack-handed annoyance to his critics, there's no denying that, at the height of his fame, Beadle could pull in viewing figures of over ten million for his Saturday night practical joke showpiece "Beadle's About".

Starting his career in radio, Beadlebum - as he was known to his Capital Radio listeners - soon graduated to TV with the genre-busting "Game for a Laugh", before breaking out on his own as a noted practical joker. He was also - years before Harry Hill made it funny again - the original host of the long-running clip-show "You've Been Framed".

Despite the huge viewing figures for "Beadle's About", the press dubbed him "the most hated man on TV", when, in reality, he was the complete opposite, having raised millions for leukemia charities for which he was awarded an MBE.

One cannot help, despite thewidespread coverage of his death from pneunomia, that this is nothing but Beadle's last, greatest practical joke. As the coffin is carried into the church, a familiar voice will say: "But wait! Who's the mystery pallbearer?"

No points scored for Beadle in the game, but no less than three people have contacted me this evening with the news of his passing. Big it up to Cliff for the funeral gag.

Sunday 27 January 2008

Suharto 1921-2008

President - some would say Dictator - of Indonesia for more than three decades, Suharto led the country through a time of rapid change in which Indonesia emerged at the dominant power in the Asia-Pacific region.

his rule, though, was riddled with corruption and human rights abuses, leading to the deaths of thousands.

As with any such leader with the blood of so many on his hands, the best that can be said is that he made the trains run on time.

And we sold him shitloads of guns.

No score in this game, as he was on the 'Death's Door' exclusion list.

Thursday 24 January 2008

Game News

With just a week to go until the game closes for entries, we already have a perfectly managable 55 players on board and the fetid corpse of one celebrity stiff.

A few people haven't chosen an under-50 Tragedy Pick, or predicted a date for the sad demise of the Duke of Edinburgh. It isn't too late to change your entry if you are one of these people.

Current scorecard:

John: 20 points
Everybody else: Bugger all

John replaces poor, dead Heath Ledger with poor, not-quite-dead Sienna Miller.

That is all.

Tuesday 22 January 2008

Heath Ledger 1979-2008

Heath Ledger 1979-2008

And so we're off, with the first untimely celebrity death to be reported on these pages.

A sad one it is, too, for it is our sad duty to report the demise of Australian-born actor Heath Ledger, found dead in a Manhattan apartment.

Seen as a rising star in Hollywood, Ledger was nominated for an Academy Award for his role in the 'gay cowboy' movie Brokeback Mountain.

Police suspect a drug overdose. He leaves a young family.

Sadly missed.

Scores 20 'tragedy pick' points for John

Wednesday 16 January 2008

Slight admin post

Hello!

We've got 39 players in the game already. Welcome, especially those of you who want to see Margaret Thatcher dead. And for the other two, you're welcome as well.

A slight rule change which I had in the last game I ran:

7.5 No minors. We may be sick, but we're not that sick.

This will only change one entry thus far. No names, no pack drill, nobody's getting told off or embarrassed, but I'm afraid The Toddler of All Our Hearts is strictly off-limits on this site.

Monday 14 January 2008

Introducing... The Duck of Death's Celebrity Death Pool featuring the Duke of Edinburgh Memorial Gold Cup

They were dropping like flies last week.

Sir John Harvey-Jones. Sir Edmund Hillary. May the both rest in peace.

The world waits, breath baited, for a third dead knight in order to restore the balance of the universe. So far, one has not been forthcoming, and if I were Sir Cliff Richard, I would be shitting myself.

Or not, if you believe those colostomy bag rumours.

Any road up, the whole famous-people-buying-the-farm thing has reminded me of the site I used to run before this whole Scaryduck thing took off. It was called:

Grim Reaper's Celebrity Death Pool featuring the Queen Mother Jubilee Diamond Stakes and Pope John Paul II Steeplechase

It was mildly successful, and I had over 150 players by the time the whole thing *cough* died a death, simply because the whole thing required an enormous excel spreadsheet to administer, and frankly chewed up all my waking hours to keep running.

When the Queen Mum died, I was up until 2am three nights running updating the scores. The selfish swan-eating moo.

So: Time to revive the idea, only simpler and less time consuming.

I invite you, then, to tempt the cold hand of fate and enter:

The Duck of Death's Celebrity Death Pool featuring the Duke of Edinburgh Memorial Gold Cup



The rules are simple, but may get extremely complicated once I start making it up as you go along.

1. Choose THREE celebrities who you think may cark it in the next twelve months. Ten points per stiff

2. Choose one additional TRAGEDY PICK - a celebrity less than fifty years of age who you think may shuffle off this mortal coil before the end of 2008. Twenty points per stiff. Your list, then will have FOUR names on it.

3. Assuming that the old duffer's on his last legs: Using your skill and judgment, guess the date in 2008 that Prince Philip will join his royal ancestors. Twenty points for the nearest guess, with points awarded on a sliding scale for near-misses.

4. On the death of one of your team, you may select a new victim

5. The stalking and bloody assassination of celebrities in the pursuit of this game is actively encouraged

6. Extra points awarded - at my discretion - for ironic deaths

7. The following "death's door" celebrities are excluded from the game: Former Indonesian dictator Suharto, Death Row prisoners, anybody else I might add to this list

7.5 No minors. We may be sick, but we're not that sick. (Added 16 January)

8. I am the sole arbiter of what constitutes a celebrity. This includes film, TV and music stars; sports men and women; politicians; people famous for being famous. "Colin from Work" is not a celebrity.

Please leave your entries in the comments box by 31st January 2008, or email me at scaryduck [AT] fastmail [DOT] fm. The game starts immediately and will run until 31st December 2008, and a small, entirely worthless prize will be given to the winner.

Your scores, game news and loving obituaries will be posted on these pages.

Yes, I know. I'm a sick bastard. So are you for reading this far. Get in!